


My Favorite

by FebruaryGemini



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Gen, PTSD, Platonic Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 04:17:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21350107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FebruaryGemini/pseuds/FebruaryGemini
Summary: "It was one of those stupid PTSD dreams,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.“About John?”“Yeah.”
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	My Favorite

“John…?”

“John?”

_“John?”_

“John!”

Virgil started awake, spent approximately one minute trying to be brave, and then threw the covers off and stumbled out of bed. He should probably call John but John was probably busy and this wasn't important enough. It was just a dream. He knew John was fine.

He needed to move. So he just started walking. He could still feel his heart trying to jump out of his chest. He blinked. His feet had taken him outside by the pool. It only took him a second to pick Thunderbird 5 out from the sky of stars. John was fine. And either busy or asleep. And this wasn't worth disturbing him.  
He sank to his knees. His hands were shaking, he was still exhausted, and the cold was getting to him. He should probably go inside.

Then a voice called out from behind him. “Virgil, are you ok?”  
Scott's voice. He'd been going over the pile of records and reports that littered Dad’s desk when Virgil walked passed like some kind of zombie.  
“Yeah. I'm… I'm fine.”  
“Liar,” he said, coming to stand next to him. “What's wrong?”  
The pause was long enough that Scott decided there were more pressing matters, by starting to shiver himself. So he hauled Virgil to his feet, marched him into the lounge, and sat him on the couch.

“You remember when John lived on earth?”  
“Before Dad disappeared? Or before International Rescue?”  
“Before International Rescue.”  
“Oh man. Virgil, that’s like, twelve years ago.”  
“But you remember it, right?”  
“...yeah. What about it?”  
“Nothing, I just… There was less to worry about back then.”  
Scott nodded. There was a lot less to worry about back then. “We got to be kids.”  
“We should still be kids. Well, they should still be kids.”  
“Even John?”  
“Especially John. You know he never got older than eighteen? To me at least. He had birthdays, sure; we even celebrated most of them, but his age is still eighteen.”  
“How old am I?”  
“Oh, you’re twenty-two.”  
“What about Gordon and Alan?”  
“Gordon’s twelve and Alan is seven.”  
“And you?”  
“If you asked me a week ago I would have said fourteen.”  
“What would you say now?”  
“Twenty.”  
“What changed in a week?”  
“I don’t know. I guess I just feel… older.”  
“What if I’d asked you yesterday?”  
“I didn’t think about my age yesterday and it’s not yesterday now, so whatever I come up with is probably wrong.”  
“Ok. Then just tell me what made you… stand by the pool.”  
“C’mon Scott, I don’t have to tell you. It was one of those stupid PTSD dreams,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.  
“About John?”  
“Yeah.”  
Scott had had his fair share of ‘stupid PTSD dreams’. Call it an occupational hazard. And quite a few of them involved John. Quite a few more involved Alan, but he could understand where Virgil was coming from.  
“He’s my favorite.”  
“...I know.”  
“No, Scott, I don’t think you do. I mean, Gordon’s great and all, and if I had to go on a mission with somebody it’d be him ‘cause I know John doesn’t want to, but if John was ok with it, I’d pick John hands down. He’s great. Like, really great. Scott, even when he was a tiny baby he was great. I remember when Mom had just brought him home from the hospital. He was such a perfect tiny person. I wouldn’t let you be related to him. He was mine. He’s always been mine even if he doesn’t know it.  
“Scott, I love him. Not like a dumb, fluffy, romantic, pink love, that love sucks. Love like that doesn’t mean anything. No, this is deep and dark red-purple, and solid. You can hold it in your hand. It’s my heart. It’s like _real_.  
“...I just want him to continue living. That’s the most important thing. If everyone else has to die that’s ok. He’s got EOS, he’ll be fine. Maybe bored, but fine. No, he’d hate it. If a few people have to die… if I’m one of them… if I’m the only one… yeah, that’s ok. Just so long as John is alive.”

Scott just marveled at the fact that Virgil’s voice didn’t crack. There had been a few times when he looked close to crying and more than one tear had actually escaped, but his voice never wavered.  
Now he was done talking though, and Scott felt like he had to say something, but he didn’t have any idea what to say.  
“He’s the one we can’t afford to lose.” Oh, he wasn’t done talking. Thank goodness Scott hadn’t said anything. “He’s the most important one, Scott. He’s the most important thing and he’s in a tin can twenty-two thousand miles above us. If one tiny thing goes wrong, I-! ...I can’t. ...I can’t, Scott. I can’t!”  
“...I know.”  
The tension in Virgil’s shoulders vanished and Scott could practically hear the choir of angels. He’d said something right! Now, don’t let that go to waste. “But you trust your life to Thunderbird 2 every day. If one tiny thing goes wrong, you crash and burn. John is no more of an idiot than any of us.”  
“Yeah… that’s true…”  
“And John’s managed to counter quite a few alarms up there even before he had EOS helping.”  
“I guess…”  
“And I’m fine.”  
Both of them started at the sound that came from John's, previously unnoticed, hologram. "John?! How long have you been listening?"  
"Well, I heard you call Thunderbird 5 a tin can."  
Scott snickered and Virgil groaned. “Did you hear anything else?”

—————————————

Several weeks later…  
John had been on earth for a solid seven hours now, and at least once in each of them, he’d caught Virgil looking at him. That wouldn’t have been weird by itself, but he also hadn’t said a word. Gordon and Alan, on the other hand, were clambering over each other, begging John to beat them at _Zombie Apocalypse_.  
So he played a few rounds of re-killing the undead with them and extended his high score. Then Grandma insisted that the boys go to bed. Scott and Brains had left a while ago to test some new features on Thunderbird 1. Virgil was still sitting where he’d been watching the game. So now John could talk to him alone.  
“Virgil, are you ok? You’ve been giving me weird looks all evening.”  
He just held his arm out, inviting John to sit with him.  
Now, John was not a person who sought company, but he’d never been able to resist Virgil’s offers. So he went and cuddled up to him. But Virgil hadn’t answered his question and that was a little bit disconcerting.  
“I just… Yeah, I’m fine.”  
“Ok…”  
Virgil pulled John’s legs over his lap and pushed his shoulders down to the armrest. And then he tucked his legs up on the couch and laid down next to John, sliding an arm behind his back. “I just like it when you’re here.”  
“...I like it too.”  
Half an hour later, Scott came back up from the hanger to find them both fast asleep.__

**Author's Note:**

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